Shadows of the Past

He was walking down the familiar path he had treaded every day for seven years of his life. It was twilight and he could already see the faint outline of his house. His house. He smiled at the choice of his words. Even after seven years, it was still a house for him, not home.
“A house only becomes home when it is cherished with love, between the family members”. He remembered his grandmother saying that to his mother when he was a child.
He wondered what his grandmother would say about his house now.

She would probably be disappointed.

It was just himself, his wife and six year son in his family. He loved them very much and could do anything to make them happy. His thoughts lingered on his wife and the word happy for a long time. He wondered when he had last seen his wife happy.
It was the wedding day perhaps...he pondered...or maybe the day his son was born. Yes. Whenever she was with him, she was happy. But Shiva could see that her smile didn’t reach her eyes. They looked dull. He had asked her million times if something was bothering her, but had always got a no for an answer. At first, he suspected that she was not happy with him, but hoped she would be after their son was born. But she was still gloomy.
He sighed and knocked at the door.
“Daddy...” Ravi flung himself into his father’s waiting arms as he opened the door.
The rest of the evening went by casually. They ate dinner, father and son discussed their day, but as usual his wife was silent.  The time after meals was always left for Ravi playing with his friends and Gayatri doing her work. But this evening, she had gone to their neighbour’s house and Shiva found himself alone in the house.

It was September and the evenings were beginning to get cold. He started towards the cupboard to find something warm, when he realised that Gayatri had still not unpacked their winter clothes from the trunk. So he fished out the key from the cupboard and opened the trunk in order to unpack the clothes. Maybe it would make her happy, thought Shiva.

But as he sat there, looking at layer after layer, he was thinking about Gayatri. He couldn’t bring himself to understand the reason behind her sorrow. She had never asked for anything, never talked much, never shared her innermost thoughts with him.

It was then , that he realised that they’d been living like two strangers all these years...they did not behave like a normal husband and wife. They wouldn’t even had a son, if it had not been for their wedding night, because after that she denied having any physical contact with him.

And, being a good husband, he never forced her. Because he loved her.  And could do anything to make her happy.

He was about to withdraw his hand from the trunk as he hadn’t found anything, when his hand touched something soft. He looked into the trunk and found a piece of paper lying at the bottom.

Finding it at last, he took out the paper and started to read:

Gayatri

How could you marry someone else?  You had promised me that you would marry no one else. Why did you break my heart? All those walks that we took in the forest, all those sweet memories in our little hut ...have you forgotten it all?
What would you have done if i had married someone else?
And what do you think, your husband would never be able to find about us?
Maybe, but till when can you hide the fact that you carry my child in your womb, and not his?
Sooner or later, he would find about it and then it would be too late. What would you do then?
Please come back to me, it’s just been a few days that you got married...run away with me?
I’ll be waiting for you, fifteen days after you receive this letter at the banyan tree near the railway station. Come soon.

M

Shiva couldn’t believe what he had read. His wife had had an affair? And got pregnant?
It was then that the truth stuck him. Ravi was not his son. And she had hidden this truth from him. For seven long years, she had kept him in the dark. How could she? And did she still meet this “M”? What if she was? What if she was not? But even if you speak a lie for 1000 times, it remains a lie.

And it was then, that Gayatri entered. She looked at Shiva and stopped dead in her tracks. She looked from Shiva, the letter in his hand and the open trunk. It took her a second to realise what had happened. She gaped at Shiva, waiting for his reaction. She knew she deserved his wrath, for lying to him.

But Shiva just stood there, numb.

“Why did you lie about Ravi? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because i was scared. I didn’t want to marry you. I loved somebody else. But then my parents found out and forced me into marrying you. It was a day before our wedding that I realised that I was pregnant. I decided that i would tell you the truth. But when i started to know you, i found out that you were a very nice man, and i could see that you loved me. Gradually i fell in love with you, but couldn’t muster enough strength to tell you. Whenever i wanted, i was reminded of my betrayal- and felt guily. It was guilt due to which i couldn’t see you in the eyes...and when i saw the way you loved ravi i thought that its better to keep the secret to myself..because i love you...and couldn’t see you unhappy...i wanted to tell you...” she broke down.

She kept crying  and shiva stood there...for a long time..

She had realised that he loved her no more . No man would after knowing that his wife had betrayed him. The whole night she kept thinking bout Shiva and the 7 yrs of their marriage, and made a decision. She decided to leave them: for Shiva and Ravi. Because she had failed as a wife and a mother. As she stood to leave she glanced at her home for the last time. Sleeping Ravi and Shiva, who was sitting near the trunk, deep in thought.  As she turned towards the door, she heard him calling.

“Where do you think you are going?”, Shiva asked.
She turned to look at him look, surprised...”I was just leaving-”
She couldn’t speak any longer as Shiva hugged her. She was surprised and couldn’t understand what was happening. Had Shiva forgiven her? Does he still love her? Will the shadows of her past stop haunting her?
Before she could ask for answers, Shiva looked at her lovingly, and said “ Let us begin a new life..you, me and Ravi. I have loved you, and will always do. Whatever happened, is past... all that matters to me is you and your happiness.”
He wiped Gayatri’s tears and was happy to see her smile after a long long time.